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CIVILITY IS ON THE DECLINE - TIME TO REVERSE THE TREND

7/2/2017

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Many Americans consider the general tone and level of civility in the country today to be a problem, with approximately two-thirds believing it is a “major” problem (65%). Manners training needed now more than ever.

Good manners seem to have taken a back-seat, have become considered passé. Many parents are extremely busy with little time for family sit-down meals. Everywhere we see examples where good manners are marginalized. Many parents have told us that they feel guilty or inadequate. Some even say they are embarrassed to have to send their children to etiquette school. We assure them that they are not alone and that manners classes are a great way to provide 3rd party validation. Our training is not as a substitute parent. We help students learn what they need to know to thrive in the real world. 

Proper manners can be learned at any age through manners training. Though etiquette varies with culture, good manners are universal and boil down to respect.

Often, the disparity between success and failure is based on understanding and using good manners. Research has established that while we are involved in a communication, body language and mannerism are more important than words. Correspondingly, many people you will encounter will judge you by your actions not your words.

During an interview, many employers already know if they will hire you or not. Companies are increasingly focusing on manners and people skills over technical experience, where ability fails and proper manners succeed. Proper manners and business etiquette help assure progress and promotions in your career of choice. Respect should be accorded to everyone regardless of their social station, financial situation, age or religion.

Social media, cell phones, email and texting are escalating the poor manners trend. 

The internet never forgets. unsuitable photos and off color jokes, for example, may be funny today, however this may cause major problems down the road when applying for a job. All positive human relationships are based on mutual respect. Having good manners will earn a young person respect in society both from peers and their elders. Developing good manners will help you practice restraint and self-control avoiding a lot of needless conflict and confrontation in all areas of life. Many people in jail will admit to poor manners and lack of respect being partly to blame for their current situation.

Etiquette, courtesy and good manners are universal. While cultures will vary as to what is appropriate in a given circumstance, good manners will always prevail.  Accepting cultural variances gracefully is simply another sign of good manners. No matter where in the world your education or career will take you, having good manners will be vital in gaining respect and acceptance despite language barriers.

​Through good manners you are able to convey your respect for others. As the saying goes “people will forget what you say to them, but never how you make them feel.”
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Manners should not be a result of a conscious effort in situations where it is deemed necessary, but a way of life instilled through manners training. Respect and good manners will make your life more pleasant and rewarding.

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DON'T YOU jUST LOVE THE EXASPERATING TEENAGER EYE-ROLL?

6/26/2017

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Many parents will recognize the following scenario. They get home from work after a long day dealing with stress. Upon entering the door they find the living room and kitchen looking like a war zone. This is despite the fact that they clearly instructed their son or daughter to 'please clean up after themselves' when they get home from school. It is time to attend etiquette training school!

"Slightly" exasperated, the parent asks why they have not performed the requested task. With a shrug of the shoulders and a roll of the eyes, the young adult turns and reluctantly begins the chore. At this point, the emotionally exhausted parent is usually asking her or himself, "Why haven't I enrolled my young adult in a manners training school?" 

Scenes like this one - and many others - are played out every day all across the planet. To be fair, the teenage years are a time of growth and change, and are stressful for teenagers. They are learning more about their world and about themselves, and are often plagued by feelings of inadequacy and apprehension. Add to this the fact that many teens take the advice of members of their peer group, and the perfect storm of bad behavior can be fully formed. 

Most parents recognize the fact that a teen that is poorly behaved and exhibits bad manners can often be seen as rude and spoiled. This can result in many additional problems for the teen. The good news is, if the young adult embraces a mannerly way of living, they can almost always reverse this impression. Many blessings can result from this, and some of them will be outlined in the following paragraphs. 

FEWER CONFRONTATIONS - AND ENHANCED SAFETY 

Good manners are not just for looks. On the contrary, exhibiting good manners often acts as a social lubricant. A teenager who is well versed in mannerly behavior is far less likely to find him or herself in a situation that could get ugly. An example of this would be a teen who constantly mouths off to other teens, or even to authority figures such as police. While parents may be tolerant of this behavior, outsiders will be far less so. Thus, in a very real way, good manners can keep kids safe.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THE GOLDEN RULE 

Almost everyone is aware of the Golden Rule that states, 'do unto others as you would have done to yourself.' Practicing good manners is a great way to apply this, and will result in social benefits for the individual that lives by this principle. Teenagers who learn this early will earn a lot of respect from not only their peers, but from adults as well. Other people will treat the team with politeness as well as respect, and they will be well thought of by members of the community.

WHAT ARE SOME WAYS OF BREAKING TEENS OUT OF THIS HABIT? 

The first and most obvious answer is for parents to practice what they are preaching to their kids. From the moment they are born, kids are like giant sponges that soak up all the information around them. Parents who keep this fact in mind can easily teach their kids good manners by practicing mannerly behavior themselves. 

That being said, even the nicest and most mannerly parents often have to deal with the dreaded eye roll. In addition to this, tensions between the parents and the child may make it very difficult for parents to reverse this behavior. This is where professional etiquette training centers come in. 

Manners training schools can take the pressure off parents and diffuse any lingering familial tensions. They create a friendly and structured environment, in which teens are carefully taught what it truly means to have manners. And this is not all. Professional etiquette training schools teach teens whole life skills that will serve them in good stead in the future. These include organizational skills, how to exhibit proper manners at the table, respectful communication strategies, how to think of others first, and basic gratitude.

Raising teenagers is not an easy job and can seem even tougher when parents are forced to endure the dreaded eye roll. That said, parents who remain patient and enroll their teen in a professional manners training school will be giving their beloved offspring a gift that will last a lifetime.

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The Benefits of Etiquette Training Can Last a Lifetime

2/9/2017

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Technology is a double edge sword. While providing incalculable benefits to our way of life, it has also fostered the generation of children who too often forsake the interaction we enjoyed as children for as handheld device. Communication and children's social skills are falling behind at an alarming rate.

Sadly because of this many teenagers and children are not acquiring essential social skills. Many will simply be unprepared for life’s events as they mature. Experts are confirming that now, more than ever, parents need to ensure that their children can set aside some of their time to developing manners and etiquette skills. Following are just a few key reasons why etiquette training should be a part of a child’s training.

Etiquette training can help develop a child’s emotional stability. Stated in simple terms, statistics show that emotional stability is a key component when it comes to acquiring good grades school. One of the primary goals of etiquette is to enhance a child's self-esteem by encouraging self expression and discussions pertaining to their emotions.

2. Etiquette classes help children when it comes to developing social characteristics that are essential. An undisciplined and easily persuadable child will never be as happy as someone who is kind and strong willed. Etiquette helps a child when it comes to developing admirable characteristics such as honesty, empathy, leadership and responsibility.

3. Unlike past generations, where children and young adults would go out and socialize frequently,  and having fun, today’s generation's concept of fun, in many cases, consists of a weekend on a gaming console/handheld device. Unfortunately this has had detrimental effects and has resulted in a degradation of their social skills will be crippled and as they grow into adulthood and have to face imminent situations that dictate the need for strong social skills, such as an interview and a job. Their chances of making a favorable impression at an interview and maintaining a job such as customer service will be significantly less than individuals who do posses strong social skills.

One of the key components of etiquette is that not only does it help to increase their self confidence, it helps children to develop strong social skills that they can utilize whenever they face stressful situations and peer pressure.
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Many people assume that etiquette and manner’s training only improves a child manners. But, contrary to popular belief, it does a lot more that just that. Said in simple terms, it gives your child an opportunity to develop skills and characteristics that will not only benefit them in school but for a lifetime.

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There is Significantly More to Good Manners than Please and Thank You.

1/23/2017

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​Bravo! Parents are searching for etiquette training classes for their children at a rapidly escalating pace. After suffering the past several decades where proper manners have taken a backseat, etiquette is making a big comeback.

When parents introduce their children to etiquette training during their formative years, they are giving a gift of a lifetime. Confidence, whether attending a social function, a school dance, mingling with other children and adults, even having dinner at a nice restaurant require knowing what to do and how to do it. So often among both children and adults there is a tendency to withdraw and look embarrassed. Proper etiquette training will dramatically increase the confidence to participate, have fun and feel very relaxed.

Whether we like it or not, all of us have about seven seconds to make a good, or bad, impression. Both are lasting. Interestingly enough, poor manners last much longer. It is very difficult to change that first impression. Too often we see people who have invested substantial amounts of money on their formal education who have not invested in learning the skills necessary to improve their social skills.

There is great truth in the axiom “we will not be judged by what we know, but rather, how we present ourselves.” Proper etiquette training provides the skills that will enable you to present a positive first impression every time and will maximize your social skills. It is important to know that good manners apply to everyone, every age. Skills learned as a youngster will carry forward for a lifetime. Anyone who can project authority and confidence will definitely have an edge.
For instance, good manners and etiquette at a job interview are very crucial.

You will actually have a real advantage over other candidates by showing the right manners and etiquette at job interview. It is important that you always make a good and lasting impression with the people you meet at job interview. For example, the way you dress matters a lot when attending a job interview. Due to the fact that first impressions are all crucial, the way you present yourself by dressing is among the major elements in creating a good or bad impression.
                           
Choose what to wear depending on the where you are going and the kind of people you are going to meet. Other essential manners and etiquette for job interview include; being punctual, good handshake, remembering names, being truthful and do not bag over dominate the talk among others. Therefore, always prepare yourself fully to show the right etiquette before job interview. It is also helpful being positive and thoughtful about selling yourself in a good way.
 
In addition to that, good table manners and knowing how to behave at a dinner table is essential in ensuring that a child’s job of being a gracious host or guest is more enjoyable and easier.  Proper behavior at the dinner table will make a lasting and favorable impression.
 
As parents we all love to hear someone say “your children are so well behaved.” Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Dining skills are easy to learn but too often not used. In today’s hectic world many parents are overwhelmed by their daily schedules. Often everyone is in a hurry so many of the standard rules are forsaken for the sake of expediency.

The more we neglect manners training the difficult it will be to make corrections later on when children become adults and suddenly faced with social and business situations they will not know how to handle.

Following are a few suggestions of what never to do at the table. While they may seem obvious, if not persistently implemented, they may become long term bad habits.
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  • Once you begin eating, it is important that you do not bite off more food than you can comfortably chew.
  • It is actually poor table manners to take a drink and talk when you have a mouthful of food.
  • Chewing with your mouth open.
  • Starting to eat before the food is served to everyone.
  • Putting your elbows on the table while having your meal.
  • Using your fingers to push food onto your fork or spoon
Proper manners training teaches the appropriate rules of behavior or etiquette and can help you and other people live a more pleasant life.

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PROPER ETIQUETTE GOES BEYOND GOOD POSTURE AND MANNERS

1/2/2017

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Picture Dr. Carolyn Rhodes
Generally, with manners training you will significantly improve your confidence in any business or social situation. Regardless of what you do or who you are, it is worth noting that good manners and etiquette will have a direct impact on your professional and social success.

Many people spend a lot of money on their education and completely forget that in most cases they will not be judged by what they know, but how they present themselves. You can learn how to walk with a commanding presence and speak with authority. Always create a positive first time impressions so as to maximize your professional and personal success. Basically, anyone who can project authority and confidence will definitely have an edge on any competition.


For instance, good manners and etiquette at a job interview are very crucial. You will actually have a real advantage over other candidates by showing the right manners and etiquette at job interview. It is important that you always make a good and lasting impression with the people you meet at job interview. For example, the way you dress matters a lot when attending a job interview. Due to the fact that first impressions are all crucial, the way you present yourself by dressing is among the major elements in creating a good or bad impression.

Choose what to wear depending on the where you are going and the kind of people you are going to meet. Other essential manners and etiquette for job interview include; being punctual, good handshake, remembering names, being truthful and do not bag over dominate the talk among others. Therefore, always prepare yourself fully to show the right etiquette before job interview. It is also helpful being positive and thoughtful about selling yourself in a good way.

In addition to that, good table manners and knowing how to behave at a dinner table is essential in ensuring that your job of being a gracious host or guest is more enjoyable and easier. You will also make a favorable impression on others by behaving well at a dinner table. For instance, once you begin eating, it is important that you do not bite off more food than you can comfortably chew. It is actually a bad table manner to take a drink and talk when you have a mouthful of food. Some of the other things that you should never do at a table include; chewing with your mouth open, starting to eat before the food is served to everyone, putting your elbows on the table while having your meal as well as using your fingers to push food onto your fork or spoon.

Regardless of whether you communicating in a cyberspace, talking to someone face to face or running in a race, it is important to have good manners. Manners training teaches the appropriate rules of behavior or etiquette and can help you and other people live a more pleasant life.

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    Author

    ​Dr. Carolyn Rhodes, a graduate of the prestigious American School of Protocol®, is a certified Professional Etiquette Trainer for preschool children through adults in everyday social graces and fine dining, and is the founder of Premier Etiquette in Hanover.

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